Last week was an important one as the government’s sustainable farming incentive opened for this year. Thankfully, I was working on my laptop when the email came through, so I submitted an application for us to become an organic farm. Others were not so lucky – the funding ran out after a few hours, and WhatsApp became a catalogue of despair among farmers who missed out and now don’t know how their farm businesses will survive. It’s clear that the government needs to provide more money to support sustainable farming.

Meanwhile, it’s been a difficult period since June as we’ve been “shut down” with TB. We’ve been waiting to test again so we can hopefully sell our bullocks, bull and breeding heifers. The wait has been extended because of my son’s wedding, and we had to find a new vet after our previous vet stopped taking farm animals as it was uneconomical for them. I’ve been unable to sleep. Another shutdown would again impact us financially.

Before the new test, it took a day for us to get the 67 cows home from the fells, and they were heavily in calf. One decided to calve en route, on the side of a fell at about 1,200ft. We phoned our new vet, who said they all had to come in, so we walked the other cows home and went back for the cow and calf. It was a job getting the quad and trailer close, but we managed to get the calf in the trailer. The cow then set off for home at top speed; I followed, and my son took the calf home. Thankfully, they were reunited happily and spent the night in the farm garden.

The cows receive two injections on day one, and if any lumps develop by day four, they have to be assessed. By day four it was going well, but then one cow developed a 3mm lump – an “inconclusive reactor”. She had to be isolated and will be tested again in 60 days.

In the meantime, we are shut down again and cannot sell any breeding cows, only direct to slaughter. We need to think carefully about what we do next, for the sake of the cows, and ourselves.

• Under the Changing Skies: The Best of the Guardian’s Country Diary, 2018-2024, is available now at guardianbookshop.com