How can I help my daughters find healthy relationships?
AmongstTheWaves asks: Are my daughters entering a time where love, sensuality and respect are hard to find in the sexual landscape and do you have any advice for parents?
Alix: Lovely human, I really can understand your concern. In a time of Trump and Andrew Tate; non-consensual intimate image abuse and nudification apps; misogyny, manospheres and red pills, it’s easy to be on red alert about your daughters’ safety and feel heartachingly bleak about their romantic futures.
I’d urge you, though, to try not to accidentally infuse your children with a sense of hopelessness about human connection. Instead, teach them that they are absolutely worthy of love, sensuality and respect, and that they shouldn’t settle for less. Model healthy relationships as much as you can at home. Talk to them about consent, and how to set and preserve personal boundaries. When it’s time to discuss safer sex, chat about emotional safety as well as physical safety: what actions and behaviours would make them feel secure, valued, adored, and joyful?
People with sons: please, do the same.
My favourite resources to help guide constructive, compassionate conversations with young people about sex and relationships include the glorious Sex Positive Families, BISH, Brook and Outspoken Sex Ed.
Instilling a sense of sensible caution is vital, but let’s not send our children out into the world feeling jaded about love before they’ve even reached adulthood. There are wonders, still. Such wonders! The more of us who try to raise smart, savvy, self-possessed and self-respecting youngsters who know they can come to us with questions, the more the chances of wonderful love remain high.
Welcome to the Conversation
A good sex life is key to a good life. Want to know how to improve yours, whether that’s practical advice on how to broach the subject of trying something new (and what to do if your partner reacts poorly); how to become more confident at talking dirty or giving constructive in-the-sack feedback; or even how to be intimate with your partner when you’re just plain knackered?
No question is too niche or too embarrassing, too mild or too wild – from how to give great massages and tried-and-tested toys to spend your money on; to how to keep sex comfortable and fun after medical challenges and life changes.
The Filter’s sexual culture and wellbeing expert, Alix Fox is now answering your questions – live!
Login or sign up here to post a question in the comments below
Related: ‘The Swiss army knife of sex’: 26 easy ways to spice up your love life
Related: ‘It could get an orgasm out of a cabbage’: the best vibrators, tested
Related: Choose your words, rehearse and why less is more: how to do pillow talk well
Updated
