The last thing you need in a meeting that could have been an email is attachments. Sadly, it’s sod’s law that there’s one oblivious person in every work gathering who raises extra, unnecessary queries using as many words as possible, and holds everybody up. Now, Forbes magazine has helpfully supplied three phrases business leaders can use to stop rambling questions from hijacking or lengthening proceedings, without embarrassing the hijacking lengthener.

But obviously it’s not only the office where we encounter those seemingly hellbent on derailing interactions, so can we steal Forbes’ gameplan for boring chat in real life?

Many conversations are DOA, too dull to rescue, but others – at a party, the school gates, a random bump-into – can be going fine until a third party ruins it by asking for or providing superfluous details that stymie the story. Sometimes you’re not married to that party, so you can’t give them a Paddington hard stare or pinch them. What does Forbes advise?

Related: Could the right question bring some magic to your meetings? | Emma Beddington

“Phrase one: route the tangent somewhere else. Say, ‘Let me pause you there. That’s worth discussing, but it’s more than we can cover here … Send me the rest, and I’ll follow up after the meeting.’” Clearly too formal for a casual natter, but there’s still gold in them thar hills. “I’d love to hear all about this when there’s time – text me later,” may be the most artful get-out-of-chat-free card ever played. Next?

“Phrase two: close a question you’ve already answered. Say, ‘We covered that earlier, so I’m going to keep us moving.’” Bit brutal, so IRL maybe reply, “But, anyway …” and then steer the convo in the direction you want to go (presumably towards the exit).

And finally: “Phrase three: give the floor to someone else. Say, ‘I want to make sure we hear from people who haven’t spoken yet. Let’s take the next question from someone new.’” It was good while it lasted, but unfortunately every technique has its limits. There’s no way of saying this, whether in the pub or at the conference room table, that won’t be loudly and clearly received as STFU.

• Polly Hudson is a freelance writer

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